It was October 2015. Halloween season. I’ve never really been excited about Halloween. To me, it had always been another holiday to avoid. Yet, every single year, on the day of, I’d find myself cobbling together an outfit because…FOMO.
It actually wasn’t until I met Shannon that I began to enjoy it. One of my most memorable years was the year we dressed up as Ab Fab. I had not a single clue who the Ab Fab ladies were. Despite that, we apparently did an excellent job at capturing their essence. (Well, some people thought I was a zebra but that’s besides the point.) So, this past year, in honor of Shan and one of her favorite holidays, I decided I would celebrate.
A week before Halloween, I had a dream about Shan’s cousin. We’ll call him…”Gosh.” I had known Gosh for as long as I’d known Shan, but we had hung out maybe only handful of times. And the times we did, our conversations with each other were quite limited.
“How are you?”
So let me tell you about this dream. Remember: This is ONLY a dream.
Gosh was on his way over to my apartment. We were big time best friends so it only made sense that we’d be hanging out on a Saturday. While I was getting ready, it hit me. Out of nowhere this tingly feeling took over my body. What the…oh my…I was in love with Gosh. <I SAID THIS IS ONLY A DREAM. PLEASE REFERENCE LIMITED CONVERSATION ABOVE.> I hear the knock on my door. Goosebumps. Flutters. Omg, Gosh! I open the door. My heart flips. I blurt out, “Gosh…I love you!” He stares at me, totally speechless. So naturally, like in the movies, I lunge forward, kiss him and experience what might have been the best kiss ever.
BUZZ! Time to wake up.
A few days later, I went to brunch with my friend, Hillary. I told her about the dream because she knows Gosh and it’s just so wild. She laughs and laughs with that big laugh I love so much. “I know, right?! So weird!” Then we begin to talk about Halloween and she asks me to come to a party with her. The funny thing: The party is at Gosh’s sister’s apartment. #FiSaysYes. I’ll go.
With just about an hour until the party, I decided to dress up as Lisa from Weird Science. I referenced that scene where she’s wearing a body con crop top and a body con pencil skirt with suspenders when meeting Gary’s parents and then naturally threatens them with a gun when they tell her Gary can’t go to the party. I ended up looking like a streetwalker from the 80s but whatever.
We arrive at Gosh’s sister’s party and I get all the butterflies. Because, you know how when you dream something and then sometimes you can’t remember if it really happened or not? That was happening. I saw Gosh and just like a small child, I avoided him. I was so embarrassed for kissing him like that. I mean, I don’t even know him and I certainly don’t love him.
Hillary, dressed up like Dolly Parton and enjoying every minute of this, smirks at me and says, “May all your dreams come true, my dear.” We clink our glasses of champagne. Thanks, Dolly. I turn fifty shades of red.
A couple hours later, it was time to go to the next party. I still hadn’t talked to Gosh, which wasn’t easy because it’s not like New York apartments are massive or anything. But, as I’m walking to the front door, something came over me. “Gosh! Come here. Let’s talk.” What.did.I.just.do.
I pull him into the kitchen. Fiana, no. Stop. Why?! I proceed to tell him that I’ve been avoiding him because I had this dream about him and in the dream I was in love with him and then we kissed. Ugh. Now what?
He’s stares at me, totally speechless. I have no idea what to say either. Why did I just tell him this? So then I awkwardly ask, “Should we kiss like we did in my dream?” His response, “………Yes.”
Umm…hmmm…errr…so naturally, like in the movies, I lunge forward, kiss him and experience what might have been the best kiss ever. Swooooon.
I pull back and we both nervously laugh. At the same time, Hillary, who was waiting for me in the hallway, pops her head through the door and calls for me. It was really time to go. I look to her and yell, “I just kissed Gosh!” She screams, “What?!” Then I look at him, smile, and say goodbye as I giddily run off to the next party…which, if you can imagine, wasn’t as entertaining.
Every time I think about this story, I’m completely surprised. I had absolutely no idea I had it in me. I play the role of shy girl extremely well. This whole time I’ve convinced myself I’m someone who sits back and watches things happen to me. But damn, that’s not true at all. I’m in more control than I thought. I make things happen because I want them to happen. And simply knowing that feels amazing.
Let me put a bow on it: When in doubt, say “yes” to making your dreams come true. To quote Walt Disney: “If you can dream it, you can do it.”
Heh, heh. Yep. Sure can.