Cleansing the Bullsh*t

I’m sitting here. Staring at my laptop. Nothing is coming to mind. A blank page is staring right back at me. Here goes.

I’m sitting here. Thinking about how I can’t help but feel like life won’t cut.me.a.break.

I’m sitting here. Nervous about what’s next with that one big, important thing. Overwhelmed by the endless bills that keep piling high. Eager for my apartment to be furnished again. Wishing there was fruit in the bowl. Wishing I knew, just knew, where my life was heading.

I’m sitting here. Maybe feeling a little sorry for myself. Maybe knowing I shouldn’t be.

I’m sitting here. Right here with this anxiety. Right here with all these thoughts. Right here with so much unfinished business. Right here with so much on the horizon.

I’m sitting here. Realizing that calm, that peace, that balance, that gratefulness are all important during times like these. I’m sitting here knowing that all those things aren’t easy to realize during times likes these.

I’m sitting here. But tomorrow, I won’t be. Tomorrow, I’ll be sitting on a plane bound for San Francisco. From there, my best friend and I will drive to Black Rock City in Black Rock Desert in Nevada to take in our very first Burning Man. A bucket list item. An experience some call a “vacation for the soul,” “life-changing,” or a “cleansing of bullshit.” A place where anything can happen, anything will happen and only one thing is guaranteed: we will never be the same.

The timing seems atrocious. This isn’t how I thought my life would be right here, right now, at this moment, before this trip. What about the e-mails, the to-dos, the meetings…

If I’ve learned anything from this ride, I’ve learned that what screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be. So, I guess, all that to say…the timing couldn’t be any more perfect.

Be right back. I said “yes” to Burning Man.

 

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