Still Here

I’m still here.

I’m still here. I’m still going forward with my journey. I’m still doing it for the story.

I’m still here.

I’m still saying yes. But it feels…goodness I don’t want to write this….it feels…over.

I’m entering year three of yes. And three years ago, it felt invigorating, exciting, risky. I was here and there and doing this and that. Two years ago, it was fun, easy, like a thing. It was perfect. Even through one of the toughest years of my life, it was perfect. Now…now that life is quieter and comfortable, yes feels hesitant, exhausting, distant. Yes, for me, has become safe.

I’m slipping.

Maybe I’m tired, maybe I’m complacent, maybe I’m getting older. Maybe I’ve done it all, maybe I haven’t done it all, maybe there’s nothing left to do. Maybe…maybe…I’m settling.

Whatever it is, whether I am or not, if it’s here or there,  I know one thing: I need yes.

I need to feel yes. I need yes to keep me moving. I need it to find unexpected opportunities. I need it to overcome my insecurities. I need it to feel alive. I need it to show me, remind me, of who I am.

I’m still here.

I’m still here and I want sparkle. I want verve. I want life.

Probably some of the best things that have ever happened to you in life, happened because you said yes to something. Otherwise things just sort of stay the same.” – Danny Wallace

Let’s go. Let’s go yes.

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