Cliff Hanging

It’s been two months since I left my full-time job. Wow. Two months. Where did time go?

Well, I’ll tell you.

I smiled a ton. I set up meetings with people who inspire me. I met an artist who sews beautiful tapestries. I met one of Madonna’s chefs who’s also writing a book. I met a bartender turned bar owner and a former producer who now owns three kickboxing gyms. I talked to anyone and everyone about my dreams and passions. I listened to audiobooks about being a bad ass. I worked out…a lot. I stepped in to be a super amateur sous chef. I hiked ten miles along a vacant beach. I signed up to become certified as a personal trainer and to get my L1 certification in CrossFit. I drank sangria at lunch. I took walks around the neighborhood with coffee in my right hand and a donut in my left. I saw friends. I went to museums. I became a member at one of them. I enjoyed the down time. I enjoyed the me time.

While skipping through life, I also experienced brief moments of panic. As a result, I became a LinkedIn addict and applied for every job under the sun even though I wanted none of them. I’d apply on my way to the gym, as I was stepping onto a train, when binge watching Real Housewives. That Easy Apply feature on the LinkedIn app is magic.

I landed a few interviews. I got excited about a couple. But my gut wasn’t feeling it. There’s something else out there for me. I just didn’t know what. What I did know was that I didn’t want to do the same thing I had been doing. So I’d send an empty thank you note, hinting at some of the challenges that would prevent me from taking on a full-time job right now. Then we’d all move on.

During one of my networking meetings with a friend of a friend who started a successful marketing agency, I realized – because he told me – that I needed to chill. He reminded me of how unlikely it is that I will have this time again. Time to enjoy the city. Time to be report to only myself. Time to think about what I want and what I don’t want. He told me to set a timeline for when I will go back to the workforce. He recommended 40 days – I chose 150.

September. September is when I will go back to work.

Tick-tock.

Tick-tock.

Tick-tock.

Since that chat, I’ve made it a point to truly enjoy my freedom and I’ve actually taken on a few small jobs. The sous chef (ahem: glorified assistant for a friend) job was one of them. No, I don’t know jack about the kitchen. But I did plate a pretty mean charcuterie platter. I was also contracted to consult for a few New York-based fashion labels. It’s been nice to work around beautiful clothes again. Between all that, I agreed to be a personal trainer for a few of my friends. This job I enjoyed the most and was paid the least…as in zero dollars.

And most recently, I’ve been hired to do something I’ve been dreaming of doing for quite some time. I applied on a whim, thinking it would never happen (but secretly hoped it would). I didn’t have the experience or qualifications (yet). Three interviews later, the job was mine.

Cue FEAR.

Is this the right time to make such a drastic career shift? Can I do this? Am I too old? Why did I want to do this again? It’s going to be an uphill climb and I have no clue how I’m going to pay my bills. What if I fail?

Cue HEART.

This is the thing. This is the thing I wake up too early in the morning to do. This is the thing I do when I need an injection of happiness. This is the thing that makes me feel good. This is the thing I do when there’s no money to be made. This is the thing I’ve been envisioning for myself. This is the thing I’ve been telling myself and my friends and my family that I want to do.

Cue INSPIRATIONAL PHRASE.

Be courageous. Your life awaits.

Cue CLIFFHANGER.

To be continued.

2 thoughts on “Cliff Hanging

  1. From April 2017 to September 2017 I was unemployed. I was on the brink of turning 40, just got out of ANOTHER horrible relationship with a total narcissist, and was wanting a complete career change but didn’t know what the fuck I wanted to do besides open my own scuba dive shop which at this time in my life I can’t make happen. So I didn’t work for 6 months. and in that time I found myself. I met friends for lunches, I hiked a ton, I became addicted to orange theory, I went on some interviews, I turned down jobs I wasn’t passionate about, I went on a lot of random dates. and one of those dates happened to be with a woman. Never in my life have I ever been attracted to a female but I thought what the hell she seems rad I’ve given men a good shot and they’ve sucked. Lots of change all at once. I enjoyed that time and called myself a ‘lady of leisure’ but deep down I was stressing as my bank account was dwindling at a crazy fast rate and I had no idea what my life would look like in a year from now. I can’t not work forever right?
    its funny how life happens and things fall into place. I ended up falling in love with the girl and am finally in an amazing healthy adult mature relationship and a job that inspired me came across my lap and I snatched it up. I am so grateful of my lady of leisure time and wish I didn’t stress so much during that time and could have totally enjoyed it to it’s fullest. Because I always knew I would be ok and knew that whatever was going to happen next would be amazing because I was finally ready to live my life for myself. You are in an amazing time of transition which is sooooo inspiring and you are so lucky to be able to take this time. breath, enjoy, do all the things you’ve always wanted to do. this is your time!!!!!!! Im so excited for you!

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    1. Wow. I love this. Thanks for sharing your story! It’s amazing how everything falls into place when we trust that the universe has our back. It’s can be terrifying when in the moment and can also be hard not to ask yourself, “What the F am I doing??” But you’re right, this is a moment to thrive and not stress – rather simply trust the process. Your experience has given me a jolt of energy. So happy you found your light and love and self as a result of it all. That’s incredibly inspiring. Thank you tons and tons for the support and encouragement, my love!!! Means the world. xoxo

      Like

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